white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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