my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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