Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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