ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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