Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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