He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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