There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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