Do you still have your period?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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