Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
