He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
