Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
