I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
