I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
