She is in my trunk
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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