No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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