so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
