I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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