I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
