Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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