You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
