i barfeds in our rink
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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