On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize