let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
