I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
