if you like me you must not know who I am
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I need to align my fucking chakras
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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