Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
