Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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