No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
