you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
