And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize