Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
