Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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