Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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