I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
