we're blogging at a bar
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
