I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
