Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
