Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
