So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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