My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
