Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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