it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize