dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
