3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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