It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
