Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
