I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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