I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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