Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
