My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
