Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
