Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize