And the cops told us we were all naked.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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