Im at strip club and am horny
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize