So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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