Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize